Advice Article

The Problem with Perfect

I live in a generation where girls will never truly love themselves. Where they look in the mirror every day, and rather than smiling at what they see, they are disappointed.

My generation can say they love themselves. My generation can be conceited and arrogant, and even come off as a bit cocky – but even those girls still have a longing for something else; for some deep desire for a look or purpose in life that will give them some sort of meaning. Because to them, looks are everything, and they are not.

Girls feel low and useless if they do not look a certain way. They feel judged and less important to the people around them. Yes some people are judgmental and shallow and only care about looks, but that is some people. What about the rest of us? What about the ones who love the girl with the shy laugh, or the girl with the witty remarks and smart attitude. We love you for your inside; for your personality, your charm, your heart and your soul.

We say we don’t care about looks and that looks do not matter, but we are lying. We are lying because as we say this, we are judging ourselves. We fear rejection. We fear bravery. We fear confidence. We put on a smile and try to stand as tall as we will let ourselves, but eventually, we all break. We cannot put on fake smiles while we tell others they are beautiful and not to judge themselves, because we too are doing that very thing – judging ourselves.

Why has society made us into these judgmental beings that pick and pick at people’s imperfections until there are no more imperfections to pick at? People run and they hide, and they cry, and then they change. They change themselves from the outside, and then eventually once they’ve had enough, they change themselves on the inside. They cannot deal with all the judgement so they change themselves entirely, thinking that if they have the looks and the charm, they will be loved, but in the process, they change their hearts, and that is truly sad.

The ones who cannot change themselves give up and since they cannot deal with themselves or others, they leave us entirely so that they will not have to be a burden with their imperfections any longer.

We are all just skeletons with a bit of flesh and hair. We are all just souls with a brain that thinks and a heart that beats. Why do people think that the way they view someone should matter. The eyes are not meant to see cruelty the way we humans often do. The brain is not supposed to think malicious thoughts, and the fingers are not supposed to point to the corner where those who suffer crouch in fear. We are not supposed to be this way.

Girls. We want everything that we cannot have. We want to be taller, and skinnier, and have lighter eyes, longer hair, smaller feet, bigger bums, smaller waists, bigger hips, longer nails – we want impossible. We need reality. We are not Barbie dolls that society has structured. We are humans, and we are meant to be different. If we were all the same, we’d be clones. And then how would you tell us apart? How do we tell people a part? Is it based on their looks, or how they treat others? And even if girls did have everything they wanted, they would still  find things they did not like about themselves and long for more. We are always longing for a need that will never come.

Girls are sitting there right now hating their bodies and wishing they had someone else’s. And while they sit there wishing for that, you sit there and wish you had theirs. And believe it or not, while you are sitting there wishing for someone else’s body, someone is sitting there wishing they had yours. Now how messed up is that?

Our bodies don’t need to change. The way we look at them does.

We want to change our appearance and somehow achieve what we believe to be perfect, and do all of this for what? Love? Happiness? You cannot change yourself and expect these magnificent things from life. You cannot go out searching for happiness. Happiness is not a destination that you reach at the end of your long tough journey. Happiness is a lifestyle. And you cannot “want” happiness. You just become it.

So rather than beating yourself up and picking out your flaws like flowers from the ground, change yourself; but not on the outside; from the inside. Change your thoughts, change your mind. Change how you think and how you act. Don’t stress about the bad, and don’t worry about other people’s opinions. Worry about you. Care for others, and care for yourself. Learn to love and to use your hands to mend, not destroy. We were created to serve a purpose on this earth, and that is to live; to love, be loved, and to be strong. So be strong


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